Id like to pose this question to all of the men and women to comment on and openly discuss their feelings. What i mean when i say has pregnancy and physical image given women a bailout in society today is, have women started using their ability get pregnant as a weapon to have financial security in the future, and also have women began to embrace the fact that they can use their looks to be with a man that is financially stable to secure stability for them in the future disregarding true feelings and love?
This is a two part question with open and honest answers accepted on both. This is Deep Rooted. Give your opinion the best way u know how..Dont hold back!
-Chaz McGee
I dont thinks so much a bail out but thats all you see nowdays and when thats all you see, you start to conform to it. You see and do something so much it starts to seem like "the norm" . Nobody is teaching girls different. Nobody is pulling these girls to the side and letting them know that aint the way.
ReplyDeleteI was Heading into my college football career as a scholarship athlete, riding the success of my academic honor roll, and being a 7-8 in my own rankings of myself on the scale of "physicall attractiveness". I was seeking my BA in business administration. I was told to watch out, because most girls are seeking some degree but ultimately searching for mr right to grant her the MRS. they had been secretly after since their college quest began.
ReplyDeletePregnancy has become the trap. The same girl screwing the starting offense bareback now has "morals" when abortion is mentioned. She doesn't consider that she was probably 1/300 of you're average football players list. She considers the baby as her right to "the life". The baby was planned, but the fantasy in her head was the white picket fence with a lab bringing the paper inside not child support and having to work to support her and a child created out of lust and trying to search for new love with "baggage" (another man's child)... This convo and the effect on the community runs deep... reply to this post
I agree with "Anonymous" that is all we see now a days. We see it all over the media [basket ball wives,football wives,HOUSEWIVES OF *insert city here*. Also living in San Diego which is huge military town we see the whole "pregnancy" thing all the time. Women/girls that want to get pregnant by a man in the military in order to obtain "residual" (income)child support[if you will]. I even heard mothers telling their daughters thats what they are suppose to do. Bottom line is we need real women making an awareness for these young girls that . Just because you have the looks that will not help you keep a man that is well off and just because you got pregnant with a man with money that doesnt mean he will stay. WE ALL NEED A SET FOUNDATION in all aspects . Society has taught us especially us blacks] that, that is ok. We need to reverse it. Enlightenment is the key.
ReplyDelete-Keon. [Konkretemag.com]
i think women do.. my God sons mother for instance is and has been looking for the father of her child for 15 months now... still not knowing who the father is she claims my friend is and he is not.. telling him " you need to make up for the last 15 months you missed out on" smh.. i totally disagree and im only in her life because im scared what may or may not happened to him..
ReplyDeleteme on the other hand i rather be in true deep love and MARRIED before i have or even think about children.. its the way the bible says it should be and honestly i have more self respect and morals as well as, goals for myself before i have children..
#sidenote: money can't buy you love and happiness so why even go that route?!
its more like a tryout, not a bailout..
ReplyDeleteWoman are prepping themselves for security based on what they have seen. You wanna get on the winning team (security) this is what you gotta do. (and women have done this succesfully throughout time) but.. Men have also become emotionally lazy.. You can work hard for the money,fame and all that shit, but dont expect your truest mate just to show up at your damn doorstep if you havent put the work in for that proper relationship. Its your fault if you just raw dog a girl because she looks great.. It takes two ta tango
I feel differently given the fact the I am a single mother of two. I was not looking for a bailout more so I was with a man that I could say that I loved at the time. I'm not going to lie as a child its instilled in womens heads to get a man that has something going for himself because the last thing you want is to be taking care of a grown man. I got with someone that ya was at the time financial secure but he wasnt a baller either. I eventually liked him enough to be called his girl. Little did I know his intentions was to get me pregnant. So I feel that there are also men out there that want women barefoot and pregnant. I aint going to put dubs on it but I was a hot girl back then and all his friends us to say to keep her, and I feel now days dont want to wife women when their not ready to settle so the next best thing is to get her pregnant. My ex told me he was sterile and I was dumb enough to believe the lie until I was pregnant and then he chuckled about it and said he thought he was. If I wanted with my looks I could have got a man that had things but I have morals and values and I feel what goes around comes around so if you use you will get used, and i'm not for the games. I feel that there are both man and women out there that get with a person for looks and money.
ReplyDeleteI've witnessed it dozens of times where women our age target men 10+ years older simply because they're more rooted by that age and are typically making much, much more money than your average 21 year old. I've also heard of women going off of birth control without telling their BF just because they think a kid will lock them together. Men do the same thing, it's just a lot more rare to see a male in his early 20's going for some beat ass 30-40yo. Taking a look at celebs it's a hell of a lot more obvious... just look at the Hogan family (the Bollea's).
ReplyDeleteAlso I feel like majority that commented on this blog was men because it doesnt seem like it happen to them so their going off of hearsay and off of celebs. That might be a bit extreme to make it seem like all women are like that. You do have your handful of women that go out there and do that but for the most part the roles are reversed given that MOST men like to mark their territory. Most men have multiple women that they want and they want to keep around and cant choose which one to settle so you get the men that make babies with all the women. That sounds more typical now daysand thats why children are growing up in single parent homes. I wish men would stop feeding women lies and I wish women werent so weak in the knees for men. I had to learn my lesson the hard way as I stated in a earlier post I have two kids by a man that I thought loved me for 8 years. Little did I know he was sleeping with so many women and had two other kids along with mine. So I think men have to start either taking responsibility and stop thinking with the wrong head and I think women need to stop thinking with their emotions and start to think logically if our last name hasnt changed then our body shouldnt either. Its sad that women and men in the black community have been doing this for a couple of generations now, but its hard to break a cycle that everyone likes and accept. I had to learn my lesson the hard way and I have a little sister that I now have my focus on to steer her away from that. It starts in the home and if home aint right little girls will try to fill the void and realize the whole just gets deeper. Thats why I spoil my sister and I keep her focused on her goal in life, she does get side track but we have a long talk about life and men and its sad because shes 13 and some of her friends already lost their V. So its hard to compete when the peers are peer pressuring her. I spoil her to let her know that she dont need a man to do what shes always had and if he wants her attention he going to have to come harder than just sweet talk and a hard D*#k.
ReplyDelete"IT AINT TRICKIN IF YOU GOT IT" "YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE" "JUST THROW IT IN THE BAG" ETC....men ALLOW women TO WANT TO USE THEM FOR THEIR MONEY. WEALTHY MEN WANT THE BEST LOOKING WOMEN AND THEY ARE WILLING TO PAY WHATEVER TO HAVE JUST THAT...SO BAILOUT I THINK NOT..IF A PRETTY LADY GETS KNOCKED UP BY A MILLIONAIRE JUST TO BE FINANCIALLY STABLE MORE POWER TO HER. PEOPLE ONLY TREAT HOW YOU LET THEM TREAT YOU.
ReplyDelete@ S.Harmon
ReplyDeleteSaythatsh*tagain.com lol
WOW!!!!!! I'm a 35 year old woman with no kids. And this post is exactly why I'm on the fence about ever having them. I don't want my kids to grow up in such a jadded world. Not all women use pregnancy and physical image as a bailout but unfortunately a large amount do. And television isn't helping the matter. If these women aren't smart enough to figure out that those tactics don't work, sounds personal to me. You create your own destiny (with the help of the hire powers YOU believe in, if that's the route you choose, too bad so sad. I would love to help with turning society around but it seems as if its so damaged that its almost impossible. It stresses me out just to think about it. I'm going to hold on to hope and pray the future generations choose to go down a different path. BOTH MEN & WOMEN!
ReplyDeleteNote: I live an envious life. And that's what women should strive for. I am financially dependent on only myself and I have no (baggage). I have a career and love what I do. I live for deep conversations. And I travel, a lot! I buy what I want when I want and can't wait to come across the man that can keep up with me! :)
There's a reason why people
ReplyDeletecall that miracle between a woman's legs a "money maker." A
future-conscious woman knows that if she has a baby somebone will have
to take care of her. Now, she prefers a for man to do it, but she will
gladly settle for the State. Either way, that baby will give her what
she desires most. Freedom. Freedom from the responsibility and
hardship involved in earning a living for her family. To her, that's a
man's job. The baby is simply a means to an end for her. She doesn't
love children, but she knows that having them will enable her to sit at
home watching LMN all day long. That's all this type of woman wants.
For a lazy woman, or one with no ambition or drive for success and
self-improvement, this is the American dream. And some guys are the
same way too... You know those guys that have like 5 baby mommas???
That's a hood insurance policy. That's 5 potential places to lay your
head and fill your belly at any given time. It's all about SECURITY.
There is no love in this game. All that romantic shit died off in the
80s. It might still happen sporadically, but as a general rule, true
love only exists in fairy tales. Same is true with looks. A smart woman knows her beauty will only last
a finite amount of time. With this in mind, she tries to snag the most
"capable" man she can while she still can. Most men with money like to
surround themselves with things of beauty. When something loses that
attribute, it is usually discarded and replaced. But if the woman was
smart/conniving enough to get that rich man to marry her, she will be
taken care of for the rest of her life. She would never marry again,
because doing so would void her meal ticket!
-Charletha
YES!!!...I think women use pregnancy as a way of securing themeselves financially because it's what we've been taught.The first thing someone says to a woman when she gets pregnant if she's not already married is "So when yall getting married?"...It never fails,it's always asked...With pregnancy comes marriage and with marriage comes financial stability(Well at least in some cases lol)Women use whatever they have to to get what they want.Now days It isnt rare to see a young woman in a relationship with a guy 10+yrs older than her.In most cases the girl is with him because he has money..Look at Anna Nicole Smith and that old ass millionaire that she was with,She was clearly looking for some financial stability..Women have allowed the financial part to override the fact that they dont really love the guy..So it seems like some would rather have money over love..The money &lifestyle that they've become accustom to has taken over the authenticity of what love and a relationship is.
ReplyDeleteYes because women know how to keep a man in their lives w`out them being in a relationship. Women may act STUPID but deep down she saayin " imma have his kids so he can staay w`me,he ain't going anywhere" just for the money which is pitiful. Me being a women and know thaat women are do this is embarrassing. no women should have to open her legs and bring a GIFT in this world for money. the girl is SELFISH . whoever she is :)
ReplyDeleteokay its like this, there are two sides to every story, and for the most part neither is usually true, theres normally some third story which falls somewhere in the middle, to be perfectly honest there are A LOT of women who try to get pregnant to create some financial revenue, there are A LOT of others who do for the sake of trying to keep a relationship that is over or may have never really begun, some lie and sneak to do so, i don't doubt that, but men often MANipulate women into believing things that are not, or will never be, i.e. "i love you" "i want to be with you" the killer "i want you to have my baby", don't play, if thats not how you feel don't say it, because she may not be smart enough to realize that its just game, and definitely don't sleep with her without your raincoat, because the fact of the matter in that you hit it, you know you hit it, and the baby may or may not be yours and thats the may the cookie crumbles, YOU PICKED him/her, maybe your didn't understand at the time you were picking the mother/father of your child but you did pick, and in regards to women using their appearance, they do, so what, the trick is not abusing it, men you charm, aka GOOD GAME to get what they want from women, its okay to do so if you are interested in building a real relationship, but the fact of the matter is you probably don't, its okay for a women to flirt or be sexual(i did not say have sex)with a man she is genuinely interested in, not because her plays on the chargers practice team, now if you choose to only involve yourself with a certain caliber of man/women, a man with money, a women to looks a certain way, or the other way around, then thats kinda your choose and you have the right to be kind of selective if your'e looking for quality not b.s. because if you wanna be happy, grow, be a success, have children, be married or not, whatever you want this person to do with you long term, maybe trying to get as close to your ideal of perfect as you can from the start is not such a bad thought, its just that most of the time it becomes warped, so i guess that put us right back were we started
ReplyDeleteat the end of the day... it is what it is right
It is true that some women use their ability to get pregnant as a weapon to have financial security in the future. I don't know if the term "bail out" is correctly associated with this concept though. Its not something that all women do but some woman have always done it. Its about survival and its much more prevalent in developing countries than in the U.S. When living in east Africa, I found that it was common for woman to trap men through pregnancy and its so prevalent that its accepted by the society. Its a result of woman oppression, insecurity and the desperation of few opportunities. Even if woman are more equal than they used to be, they are still socialized in a patriarchal system that starves them of independence. Having children with someone you love is a western (somewhat) modern concept. Woman have always used their looks to influence men and men should beware of their intentions. Its wrong when woman trap men with pregnancy but it will always exist for those women focusing on survival.
ReplyDelete